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support-a-friend-in-crisis

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Show up well for someone going through something hard — loss, illness, a breakup, a crisis — with the right words, the right presence, and concrete help, instead of freezing or saying the wrong thing. Use when asked how do I support a friend going through, what do I say to someone who's struggling, my friend is in crisis, or how can I help someone grieving. Produces what to actually say (and the clichés to avoid), how to be present rather than fix, specific concrete help to offer, how to keep showing up over time, and how to look after yourself — with a clear flag to steer them to professional/crisis help when it's beyond a friend.

skills/support-a-friend-in-crisis/SKILL.md

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Nov 10, 2026
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# Support a Friend in Crisis

When someone you care about is going through something awful, the fear of saying the wrong thing makes many people freeze and pull away — exactly when their friend needs them most. Showing up well is a skill: it's less about perfect words and more about presence, not-fixing, and concrete help. This tells you what to say (and the clichés to avoid), how to be there over time, and when it's beyond what a friend can hold.

## What This Skill Produces

- **What to actually say** — simple, genuine words that acknowledge their pain, and the well-meant clichés to avoid ("everything happens for a reason," "at least...," "let me know if you need anything")
- **Presence over fixing** — how to just *be there* and listen, rather than rushing to solve or advise (most people want to feel accompanied, not fixed)
- **Concrete help** — specific, low-burden offers ("I'll drop off dinner Tuesday") instead of the vague "let me know," which they'll never take up
- **Showing up over time** — how to keep supporting past the first week, when everyone else has moved on and it's often hardest
- **Looking after yourself** — supporting someone in crisis is draining; how to sustain it without burning out
- **The professional line** — a clear flag for when it's beyond a friend (self-harm risk, deep depression, danger) and how to steer them to real/crisis help

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