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the-year-of-firsts

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Get through the first year after losing someone — the birthdays, holidays, and ordinary triggers that ambush you — with a gentle plan for the hard days instead of being blindsided. Use when asked how do I get through the holidays after a death, the first birthday without them, grief is hitting me in waves, or coping with the first year of loss. Produces a map of the anticipated hard days (anniversaries, holidays, their birthday, firsts), permission and options for how to handle each (keep, change, or skip a tradition), grounding practices for the ambush waves, ways to include their memory, and gentle markers for when grief may need more support — so the first year is met with tenderness and a plan, not dread. Not therapy; points to grief counseling and support groups.

plugins/pm-grief/skills/the-year-of-firsts/SKILL.md

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Last checked
Nov 9, 2026

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Repository last updated
Nov 10, 2026
License
MIT

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# The Year of Firsts

The first year after a loss is a series of firsts — the first birthday, holiday, anniversary, and a hundred ordinary moments that ambush you. You can't avoid the grief, but you can meet it prepared instead of blindsided. This maps the hard days ahead, gives you permission and options for each, grounding for the waves that come from nowhere, and ways to keep their memory close — so the year is met with tenderness and a plan.

## What This Skill Produces

- **A hard-days map** — the anticipated triggers (anniversaries, their birthday, holidays, "firsts" like a first spring or first trip) laid out so none blindsides you
- **Permission and options per day** — for each tradition or occasion: keep it, change it, or skip it this year — all valid, your choice
- **Grounding for the waves** — simple practices for when grief ambushes you unexpectedly (breath, movement, reaching a person, letting it come)
- **Ways to include their memory** — rituals big or small that keep them present rather than pretending they're gone
- **A support-people plan** — who to tell in advance about hard days so you're not alone in them
- **Gentle "more help" markers** — signs grief may need a counselor or group, offered without alarm

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